


am I alone in this constant side?

by krltx1



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, F/M, I got inspired by a Tumblr post, IT IS A ONESHOT, It's supposed to be fluffly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:22:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23729740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krltx1/pseuds/krltx1
Summary: “Why did you invite me here? Today?” She decided to ask, breaking the silence between them.Kylo cleared his throat, mumbled something no one could decipher besides himself. “Today is my birthday.”Rey had distanced from him to reach some books, and he still stood with his hands behind his back, and his eyes were low to the ground. Had Kylo asked for her, because he did not want to be alone or because he needed to see her? She preferred the second question, but fear took her and she chose not ask him, but in matter of seconds, she had, once again, closed the distance between them.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	am I alone in this constant side?

Rey had decided to join the market’s fair that morning, accompanying Paige and Rose as they were delighted and touched beautiful, colorful fabrics. She desired gravely to enjoy and savor everything as her friends were doing, however, her mind was with him.

The brief meeting of their gaze had shown such strong sentiments from him, Rey wondered for long if she could grab his sadness with her own fingers, because it felt so palpable, like it had turned into a living thing.

She was surprised when she received a note, recognizing the kind of paper with no difficulties. As she opened, Kylo’s calligraphy remained beautiful, just like she knows in her memory. A tired smile escaped her lips at the sight of something that belonged to him. He had written to Rey, asking if she could join him today.

Rey had thought he did no desire to encounter her — their last meeting did not end well, in fact, she felt deeply hurt by his words and actions, but the way he stared into her today… A misery she did not want in him. No. Never. She only wanted him to smile, to be happy and free to be man she knows Kylo can be.

Her body turned to Rose, her eyes telling a story without words. Her friend clasped her hands together, a reassuring and confident smile.

“Go.” Rose said simply, she nodded in return.

Not long after, Rey had stepped outside the store and the sight of his carriage startled her. She wondered if he was sure she would come to him or he held hope. Without questioning, she entered and sat, soon the horses were heading to his states.

If Rey breathed heavily, she could grasp faintly his scent. It barely lingered, but it was there, still as fascinating and intoxicating as Kylo could be.

Why did he ask for her, now? She thought they were supposed to be a part — he said so. Her mind could not detangle from their last encounter, so many harsh words had been said between them. Rey herself did not mean half of everything she said. Had he regretted as well?

* * *

She got lost in her thoughts as her eyes passed through the green landscape. If it took forever or a second to arrive to her destination, she could not know. By the time, the driver had opened the carriage’s door, Rey was filled with concern and regret. Would they fight again? Lord knew she could not take anymore. She would crumble to pieces and Kylo would be free to step on her, if he desired.

Rey had no time to gather her strengths before finding him, waiting for her, his hands at his back, somehow, his shoulders were broader and squarer. Before she could notice, the distance between them had disappeared. She stood next to him, by his right side.

“You asked for me?” Rey asked. His eyes were low to the ground, he had not yet found the courage or strength to lift his dark, enigmatic, both strong and weak eyes.

“I did. Yes.”

Rey twitched her lips and brows, the man every time seemed to be large and strong, yet something about him felt differently — he seemed petite, despite his age, Kylo appeared younger than ever.

“I came.” Rey exchanged the weight on her legs, standing with her right leg now.

“I don’t think I ever gave you a tour of my state,” Kylo said as he seemed to have the decency to stare at her. Locks of hair had decided to frame his face, hands still behind his back. “Would you like one?”

Strange to say the least, but Rey nodded in reply. Kylo extended his hand and Rey took it silently, the shock on her palm was familiar, but it never ceased to surprise her. So different to everything she ever felt, yet something felt similar to arriving home after a long vacation, always relieving and calm.

Kylo guided her to the gardens, passing through bushes and larger trees, but he stopped next to a swing, it did not seem used regularly, in fact, the rope seemed thinner and about to snap any second, but underneath, Rey knew it would not. It still had some strength, despite the looks.

“My father used to swing me here every day,” Kylo said, his voice was not a whisper, but it has meant only for Rey, because it was low and intimate. Warm.

“Sometimes, I forget you were a kid, one day,” She joked with a small chuckle, the sound of his soft laughter seemed like an opera. “Come on,” Rey jerked her head to the swing. “Sit. Time to play.”

Kylo frowned his brow, a wrinkle Rey knew by heart now appeared at the middle of his forehead, it left quickly, they never stayed long. “I don’t think it will hold it.”

She sat with no delicacy at the swing, “Let’s see,” and she jumped as she sat, trying to test the strength. The rope did no break despite her movement and display of weight. “See? It still has some fight in them. Come on.” Rey rose and her hands reached for the sleeve of his shirt, pulling softly.

“Rey…” He warned in vain, for no long after, he sat with great careful at the swing — his shoulders being a problem between the small space between the ropes, but he had decided to position them behind the ropes. The way the light shinned on his skin made him look younger, and it gave him a beautiful golden tint. She could see now the confirmation of how his eyes were brown, not black as she once thought.

Her hands grabbed his shoulders softly, trying to combat his weight and slowly giving him movement at the swing. Kylo used his legs to help it moving, softly, for he did not seem to trust the old thing like Rey had decided to do.

“This is going to break any moment now,” He was sure of it. Anticipating even.

“ _Sh_.”

“Such a beautiful day. Thank you for coming today.” He murmured softly, gently, it felt like a lullaby.

“When have I ever denied you, Kylo?” Rey did not wish to her voice to leave so weakly her lips. She continued to swing him softly, her eyes wandered to the ropes that held everything, making sure they were still in place.

He did no reply.

They remained like this in silence for a moment, and then Kylo’s leg made him firm at the ground as he had decided to rise from the seat. He gave her his forearm, and Rey joined, meeting the crook of his arm, and somehow, her own brushing softly at his ribs every moment she took a step.

Kylo guided deeper inside the gardens, stopping by the gazebo next to a pond.

“It is truly beautiful.” She said, taking a long look at the shades of greens and blues her eyes saw.

“It is.” But Kylo was not staring at the thing as her.

Rey looked back, to face him and his eyes were already on her. Kylo held the glance steadily, but he tore away, his eyes lowering to the ground, handing his arm again.

“I spent most of my childhood walking and running everywhere, I can almost remember how the wind felt on my face.” Kylo said, her hazel eyes never leaving his feature, but he did not seem interest in meeting her halfway. She wondered the reason behind. He did no seem as harsh like he can be, Rey noticed how his armor seemed to be gone, for he carried himself so weightless and with soft shoulders and posture.

“How did it feel?” Kylo took a pause to respond, which only made Rey continue. “The wind.”

“Liberty, it felt like liberty,” was his reply. Rey decided not push on a deeper answer, for his voice held a hoarseness she never heard from him.

Rey grabbed his hand quickly, and her feet increased velocity, he followed, as they passed among the green and the grass. His hair flowing crazily at his face, so dark and so lightless. She did not care when she noticed she stepped on mud and how the hem of her dress had been ruined, how her hair seemed to be getting undone by the wind.

She only stopped running when breathing became an impossible task with her corset and tight dress. Her hands went to her knees as she bended softly her posture to catch a breath. Kylo stood next to her, a glossy sheen on his ivory skin, but his breathing steady still.

“Impossible to do anything with these things,” Rey grunted under her breath. “You’re lucky to be a man.”

Kylo chuckled, handing his forearm again, and like before, she always takes whatever he offered.

* * *

He had decided to enter his manor, guided to a beautiful room, filled with painting, pictures and sculptures, everything so perfectly designed or crafted, a luxury itself.

“Oh, so beautiful,” Rey said while looking to a bust. Her fingers reached to touch the marble, as if she needed to know for certain it was an object, because it felt so real. “Your family’s taste for art is something remarkable.”

Kylo stayed silent, following her like a shadow, but ever so often, Rey would drift her eyes to him — the sad and misery had left his expressions, he did not smile with his lips, but something met in his eyes, because they seemed to shine and sparkle at every angle and chance she got to glare on them.

There were scattered books, some in piles, others alone, and Rey moved eagerly to meet them, her hands traveling through the spines and reading shortly some pages. Some of them she had never knew about — reading was not her forte, but she could appreciate some of it, she even had enjoyed poetry a while back.

“Why did you invite me here? Today?” She decided to ask, breaking the silence between them.

Kylo cleared his throat, mumbled something no one could decipher besides himself. “Today is my birthday.”

Rey had distanced from him to reach some books, and he still stood with his hands behind his back, and his eyes were low to the ground. Had Kylo asked for her, because _he did not want to be alone or because he needed to see her?_ She preferred the second question, but fear took her and she chose not ask him, but in matter of seconds, she had, once again, closed the distance between them.

“I’m glad you invited me.”

Kylo released a sigh so heavy it even moved random wisps of her hair, Rey even questioned herself if she saw how trembling his legs were, like they were about to snap or break any moment now. She did not think twice before reaching for his hands, still at his back, passing through the gap between his arm and tangling her fingers between his. It made her so close to him that her chest was brushing against body. The top of her head fitted perfectly underneath his chin and Rey did not hesitate to press herself against him, clasping even more together both their body and hands together. If she tried hard enough, Rey could merge into one.

He appeared unresponsive for a while, which made Rey doubt her actions and her displays of affections, had she stepped the line? Everything left her mind when she notices how his hand dropped to his sides, and how he seemed to change the hold, but only trying to make himself more comfortable, his chin met the top of her head and she could even feel his hisses of air in her hair.

When Kylo let go one of her hand, she wondered if he would let go all together, but he had chosen to surround her waist with his hand, bringing her close together to him. His body seemed both strong and warm, but soft and gentle at the same time. Everything she had wanted, but never knew how to ask.

“Thank you for coming. I needed to see you.” He had answered Rey without needing to ask, in a soft murmur, a secret he only wished Rey to listen.

She concluded Kylo would always know her unanswered questions. He lived in her heart for so long, it is no surprise that Kylo lives inside her mind as well.

**Author's Note:**

> It is inspired by this post: https://phantom-of-the-keurig.tumblr.com/post/158735735171/headcanon-that-one-day-after-christine-has
> 
> All I ask a comment and kudo. I hope you enjoy this small oneshot.


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